[00:00.00]时代音乐网 www.78497.com  [00:11.63]For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot [00:14.32]On the whatnot  near the 'atstand in the 'all [00:18.13]It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe [00:21.95]Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall [00:26.01]So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree [00:30.45]And he's planted it against the garden wall [00:33.51]It shot up like a rocket  'til it's nearly reached the sky [00:38.07]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:42.51]We couldn't see the top of it  it got so bloomin' high [00:46.27]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:50.65]When father's had a snoot full at his pub  'The Bunch of Grapes' [00:56.71]He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes [00:59.08]No  you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes [01:04.34]Off the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:10.71]We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade [01:14.90]So they put the water rates up half a crown [01:19.08]The roots stuff up the drains  grow along the country lanes [01:22.65]And they came up half a mile outside the town [01:26.40]Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house [01:31.40]But a jealous rival went and burnt it down [01:37.40]The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out [01:42.02]Up the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:47.03]They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout [01:51.52]From the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:56.46]The dogs all come around for miles  a lovely sight to see [02:01.52]They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee [02:06.77]So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree [02:12.46]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world